US ASTROJAX Blog

Announcing the Curiously Intriguing Xa

Our team of old-timey researchers were as stunned as you are by this development. Where did it come from? What is it for? At first our curiousity was equalled only by our undeniable disappointment once we discerned it could not be eaten. But just then, something happened. A world of possibility opened up before us in a comically-timed eureka moment and Xa was assimilated into the USAstrojax collective!

Let's start with the obvious- what can you do with Xa? Well, my dear scholar that is where it gets interesting. Though we haven't quite cobbled together a lightbox that displays (I swear it by Odin's raven) moving pictures, Jimothy assures me such a device will allow us to provide you a far more wondrous and ocularly pleasing demonstration within a fortnight.

Until then, here are some of the particulars we've come to adore about the gelatinous little fellow:

weight: 34 Grams
diameter: 70mm in diameter
taste: absolute rubbish
component materials: An apparent thermal plastic resin harmoniously blended into a tri-woven alien polymer so as to sustain the unicorn dreams within it.*

Researcher's Note: (That last part is merely a theory of Sir Jason, but I've had no occasion to doubt his idiosyncratic ravings and to be fair it would explain the holes.)

So what can one do with Xa?  Well, for starters:

• Throw it
• Bounce it
• Stretch it
• Stretch it AROUND things (but not your head- we're fairly certain the unstable molecules that comprise it would rupture, tearing a hole in existence as we know it)
• Stuff a sock into it, forming a makeshift tail and launch it across the yard while swearing to your neighbors that 'the squirrel prophecy has finally been fulfilled'.
• Submerge the device in water
• Integrate into modeling clay
• Inflate a balloon within its confines to create a dragon egg!

Now that I've had a spell to ponder the particulars of this advancement whilst satiating my palate with tasty vittles from the corner delectables shoppe, I've decided that perhaps you'd best take a crack at it. We (and our dapper moustaches) have been at this for weeks and frankly we're about to crinkle our cravats at all of the maddening possibilities!  

If you'd care to investigate the device and report your OWN findings back to us, provided you can pay the shipping from our meager (though still secret) laboratory you can procure one of our native samples for your own experimentation and together? Why we'll show that Tesla fool yet!

And who knows? Perhaps one who can unravel its secrets might be rewarded handsomely from our lab in some way?